But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize