I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
