bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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