is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
