I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
