lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
