i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
