yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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