when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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