Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
