but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
