haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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