She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
