I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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