We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
