carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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