Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
