Kiss
Puke
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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