just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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