Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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