is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
