i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
