i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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