THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
