Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
