I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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