420 ftw
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
