it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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