Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
