I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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