Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
