i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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