so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
