Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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