I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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