If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
