But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
