This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
one might say we're banned from that church
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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