That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So vagazzling was a success
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
