1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Say something about gay babies.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
