He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He passed out mid-signature
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
