Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
