I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
