i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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