for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
