i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
