it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
