So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Found your dick twin last night
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
