Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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