my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
the liver wants what the liver wants
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
