i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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