if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
my shit smells like andre
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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