I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
