I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
