who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
