eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
